Knowing When to Ask and Then Having the Language
Hi Friendos,
Last week I was talking to a family member who mentioned they needed $250 of work done on their gutters. A big limb had fallen off a tree in front of their house. Thankfully nobody was hurt and the branch didn’t break any windows or cause major damage to their house, but it did bring down their front gutters when it fell. This tree sits between the sidewalk and the street on the…median strip (tree lawn?) – on a bit of land that, in this town, is the responsibility of the town itself, not the person who owns the home sitting behind that strip. For the last couple years, my relative has been telling the town that the tree looked like it was dying and needed to be pruned. A city worker came by and spray painted a circle around the tree, indicating it was marked for removal. He said that the city didn’t have enough crews to get to all the complaints. And then the tree partly fell down.
My relative said she thought the city should pay for their gutter repair, “But I hardly have a leg to stand on.” I disagreed and explained that at my old job, where I estimated economic damages for lawsuits, we would have put her damages at $250 and it was totally reasonable to ask the city to reimburse for that. “Do you have a written estimate?” Yes. “Bring that with you when you go to the town hall. Explain that you are just asking to be put back in the same position you were in as if they had tended to the tree in a timely way.” We talked about how if the city had been timely, she would not have to pay $250 to have her gutters put back, so it was a reasonable request. She said, “You make it sound so airtight, I think I will ask.” Huzzah! It wasn’t truly that she did not think about asking for reimbursement, it was that she didn’t have the language to ask the question.
Way back in September 2024, I listened to Gabe Dunn’s discussion with author Matt Schulz about his book “Ask Questions, Save Money, Make More.” Schulz said the book provided actual scripts that people could use to ask for things like a lower interest rate on their credit card, a lower cable bill, and waiving certain fees on a mortgage. He also said 3 out of 4 people who ask for a lower interest rate on their credit card get the lower rate. Three out of four is a lot! I had no idea. The book also says that even more people who ask get a higher credit limit (I’ve done that myself), have late fees waived (check), and get reduced or waived annual fees (I’ve not done that one).
I put the book on my want-to-read list and a few weeks ago I saw a used copy offered for under $5 and I think it was worth it! Here are some specific things I liked about the book:
- It identifies lots of situations where you might ask for a discount or other benefit. Some of these are probably situations where you have never considered doing so, but if you read the book, you will.
- For each situation, the book provides specific scripts you can use to ask the question. Of course you can tweak these to suit your own preferences, but it is enormously helpful to have this starting point.
- Right upfront the book acknowledges the need to get past the sweaty-palms-nervousness of it all. Thank you for not pretending like negotiating a mortgage is no big deal!
- The book is explicit about the possible risks and rewards of asking for things in various situations and acknowledges that these can be different for different people. For example, the chapter on asking for a better price on a car states, “The biggest risk, particularly for women and people of color, is facing unfair treatment.” But it also encourages readers to not, “let the specter of discrimination keep you from asking important questions and trying to secure a lower price.”
- There is a nice discussion about how small businesses might be more willing to provide discounts, but also how some people don’t ask for discounts from businesses with lower profit margins, and helps you consider when to/not to ask.
- Throughout, the book is clear-eyed that in some situations, the juice (potential savings) is not worth the squeeze (effort to negotiate).
I decided to try and put the advice in the book to work. I have an American Express credit card that I got last February because I liked the travel rewards. In fact, I used points from that credit card to get nearly free plane tickets to visit family last month. The card has no annual fee for the first year, and then there’s an annual fee of $150 which I have no intention of paying.
The book has a chapter called “Waiving or Lowering the Annual Fee on a Credit Card” – perfect. On a scale of 1 to 5, it says the possible impact is a 2, chance of success is a 4, and simplicity is a 4. “A 2023 LendingTree survey showed that 93 percent of people who asked to have their annual fee waived saw a positive result: 61 percent had it waived in full, and another 32 percent had it reduced.”
Here’s the script I used after I got connected to a representative, based on suggested language in the book:
Me: “Hello, I’d like to have the annual fee on my card waived. I’ve never missed a payment, and given that, I think this is a reasonable request. Who on your team can I speak with about this?
Representative: “You can speak to anyone you want but no one can waive the fee because that’s used to support the benefits on the card. American Express policy is not to waive the fee. What you can do is downgrade to a card with no annual fee.”
Me: “Thank you for that. I appreciate the offer, but I’m interested in only having the fee waived.”
And the rep politely repeated the “no” response.
So, I guess I’m in the elite 7% who get turned down! That does not diminish my support for the advice in the book at all, because I’ve gotten so many past fees waived and similar benefits just by asking. I did get a good tip out of the 6-minute phone call, which was not to call and cancel before the exact February anniversary of opening the account, or I would forfeit the welcome bonus from card opening. The rep also gave me the exact date in March when the annual fee will be charged, so I now have the exact one-month window when I can call and cancel to avoid the annual fee. If Amex changes its mind when I call back to cancel, I’ll let y’all know.
-Stephanie
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